Prisoner of love
by avampireknightattwilight
Summary: Is a songfic about Bella's feelings during New Moon it's pretty much cannon. E/B and a little J/B.


**AN**: This is songfic based off of Prisoner of Love by Utada Hikaru Italics are lyrics and regular is Bellas thoughts this is entirely in Bella's point of view.

**I do not own Twilight or Prisoner of love by Utada Hikaru.**

_I'm a prisoner of love _

_Prisoner of love _

_Just a prisoner of love _

_I'm just a prisoner of love_

_A prisoner of love _

I'm a prisoner to my love for him even after he left me. I was well aware of being a prisoner to my love toward him before he left and I was I happy prisoner believing he felt the same.

_With an indifferent face you tell a lie._

I still remember the day he left and How he told me he didn't love me. He never loved me how he could he? When he told me his face was blank and his eyes were cold and emotionless. It showed to me that he didn't love me or care for me he never did and never could but that's my fault not his.

_Laughing until you feel sick_

" _Let's have nothing but fun" you said_

I remember the happy days as well. Like last summer on a sunny day when we went to the meadow and we spent all day there just he and I. I remember that we happily talked and teased each other. We held hands and kissed. It hurts so much for me to even remember the happy things but I never want to forget them either.

_Feeling blue over desining the impossible _

_Everyone is seeking tranquility_

_You're struggling but you've had enough _

I could see back then it was a struggle for him to around me and I could understand if it just got too much for him to bear to be around me. It was easier and less painful for him when I'm not around.

_Now chasing after a shadow of love_

Now that he's gone I'm just chasing after a love that is long a gone just a ghost of love that refuse to let go of.

_Since that day you appeared _

_My dull "every days" have began to shine_

Since the day I met him my every day life changed from being boring and normal to magical and mysterious but I forgot magic isn't real and shouldn't have expected it to last.

_Now I'm able to think _

"_feeling loneliness being in pain. That's not so bad"_

With him gone I now have a big gap in my chest that can never be filled again. I always feel lonely without him I always wish he were here with me but that only causes me to be in more pain. But I don't care how miserable and lonely I am as long as he's happy I can continue on.

_I'm just a prisoner of love_

_Just a prisoner of love _

_Prisoner of love_

_Prisoner of love I'm a prisoner of love_

I continue to be a prisoner to my love for him and always will even though I know that I was nothing more then a problem for him but no matter the pain can't seem to set myself free from that love.

_Through painful times and healthy times_

_Stormy days and sunny days_

_Let's walk on together_

Recently I found a small escape from the pain through Jacob. Jacob has stayed with me since then on my good days and my bad days he's able cheer me up he's a really good friend.

_I'm gonna tell you the truth _

_I chose an unforeseeable painful path and you came to support me._

_You're the only one I can call a friend_

With Jacob I could be honest and tell him the truth and I did. Even after hearing the truth he chose to stay by me. He is the only real friend that I have .

_Fake displays of strength and avarice _

_Have become meaningless_

My act to seem stronger then I am have became less strained with Jacob's help but I think my act is meaningless because everyone can tell I'm still not over him I never will be.

_I've been in love with you since that day _

_When I'm free with no time to spare _

_There's no life in being alone_

I could try to love Jacob so my life could be consider a life still and not just waiting for death because in being with someone there is life but being alone is no life but it would be a forced love on my part.

_I'm just a prisoner of love_

_Just a prisoner of love_

But I'm still a prisoner to my love for him so can't even to pretend to love Jacob and be able to live again without him.

_Oh.. Just a little more _

_Don't you give up _

When Alice said he went to Italy because he thought I was dead I was scared and sad and confused . As go with Alice to try and save him one my thoughts are don't give up. Don't give up on life just because you thought it was your fault.

_Oh… Don't ever abandon me ever _

When me and Edward finally reunited in Italy . I want to make him promise to never leave me again but I don't. I don't want to be more of a burdan to me then I already am.

_If cruelty of reality _

_Tries to tear us apart we'll be drawn more closely to one another_

_Somehow I have a feeling we'll be able to stand firm_

I want to believe that it was like it use to be with Edward and I. I want to believe that anything that gets in our way would only bring us closer but can't believe only wish for this to be true.

_I'm just a prisoner of love _

_Just a prisoner of love_

Being with Edward again as only made it even more clear that I'm a prisoner for my love for Edward. I can't even take my eyes off of him for a second terrified that he would disappear.

_Every day banalities quickly begins to shine brilliantly_

_You stole my heart that day _

_Loneliness and pain_

_I thought I could deal with_

I remember that night when I first realized that I loved him that was the day he stole my heart and today he stole my heart again. I never knew it would end the first time but this time I know it will and I can't bear the pain that will soon come.

_I 'm just a prisoner of love_

_Just a prisoner of love _

_I'm a prisoner of love_

_Prisoner of love_

_I'm just a prisoner of love _

_I'm a prisoner of love_

I know I'm a prisoner to my love towards him and I wish he stay and I wish he love me back but most of all I wish he'd be a prisoner to his love for me.

_Stay with me _

_Stay with me_

_My baby say you love me _

_Stay with me _

_Stay with me _

_Don't leave me alone again_

I silently beg you not to leave me to stay with me to never leave me side again I don't know if you understand but cling to you in my sleep so you won't leave me stay with me.

_Stay with me _

_Stay with me _

_Oh.. Stay with me _

_Don't leave me _

_Tell me that you love me_


End file.
